Two Dads are Better than None

The adventures of two very adorable gay men trying to become fathers in a crazy ass world

1. Don't pick on the weak. It's immoral. Don't antagonize the strong without cause, its stupid.

2. Don't hate women. It's a waste of time

3. Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.

4. Get in a fistfight, even if you are going to lose.

5. Don't join the military, unless you want to risk getting your balls blown off to secure other people's economic or political interests.

6. If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent's intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bullshit they try to feed you.

7. Don't be a Republican. They are self-dealing crooks with no sense of honor or patriotism to their fellow citizens. If you must be a Republican, don't be a "conservative." They are whining, bitching, complaining, simple-minded selfrighteous idiots who think they're perpetual victims. Listen to talk radio for a while, you'll see what I mean.

8. Don't take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don't want to come off as cynical.

9. You'll spend your entire life listening to people tell you how much you owe them. You don't owe the vast majority of people shit.

10. Don't undermine your fellow young men. Mentor the young men that come after you. Society recognizes that you have the potential to be the most power force in society. It scares them. Society does not find young men sympathetic. They are afraid of you, both individually and collectively. Law enforcement's primary purpose is to suppress you.

11. As a young man, you're on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women's Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you.

12. Young men provide the genius and muscle by which our society thrives. Look at the Silicone Valley. By in large, it was not old men or women that created the revolution we live. Realize that society steals your contributions, secures it with our intellectual property laws, and then takes credit and the rewards where none is due.

13. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.

14. Don't be afraid to tell people to "Fuck off" when need be. It is an important skill to acquire. As they say, speak your peace, even if your voice shakes.

15. Acquire empathy, good interpersonal skills, and confidence. Learn to read body language and non-verbal communication. Don't just concentrate on your vocational or technical skills, or you'll find your wife fucking somebody else.

16. Keep fit.

17. Don't speak ill of your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. Back him/her up against the world, even if he/she's wrong. S/he should know that you have their back. When s/he needs your help, give it. S/he should know that you'll take her part.

18. Don't cheat on your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend. If you must cheat, don't humiliate her/him. Don't risk having your transgressions come back to her or her friends. Don't do it where you live. Don't do it with people in your social circle. Don't shit in your own back yard.

19. If your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't make you feel good about yourself and bring joy to your life, fire her. That's what they are for.

20. Don't bother with "emotional affairs." They are just a vehicle for people to flirt and have someone make them feel good about themselves. That's the part of a relationship they want. For you it is a lot of work and investment in time. If they are having an emotional affair with you, they're probably fucking someone else.

21. Becoming a someone's friend and confidant is not going to always get you into an intimate relationship. If you haven't gotten the girl/guy within a reasonably short

period of time, chances are you won't ever get them. S/he'll end up confiding to you about the sexual adventures they are having with someone else.

22. Have and nurture friendships with women and men.

23. Realize that love is a numbers game. Guys fall in love easily. You're going to see some girl/guy and feel like you'll die if you don't get her/him. If s/he rejects you, move on to the next one. It's their loss.

24. Don't be an internet troll. Got out and live life. There is not a cadre of beautiful women or men advertising on Craigslist to have NSA sex with you. Beautiful people don't need to advertise. The websites that advertise with attractive photos and claims of loneliness are baloney. All they want is your money and your personal information so that they can market to you.
 
25. When you become a man in full, know that people will get in your way. People who are attracted to you will somehow manage to step in your path. Old people will somehow stumble in front of you at the worst time. Don't get frustrated. Just step aside and go about your business. Know that these are passive aggressive methods to get you to acknowledge their existence.

26. Don't gay bash. Don't mentally or physically abuse people because of who they are, or how they present themselves. It's none of your business to try to intimidate people into conformity.

27. If your gay, admit it to yourself, your parents, your friends and society at large. Be prepared to get harassed. See rule 14. If someone threatens you or assaults you, call the cops. Have them arrested. You have no obligation to self sacrifice because of who you are. As a gay person, you'll have more social freedom than straight men. Use it to protect yourself. Be prepared to get out of Dodge if your orientation makes your life unbearable. Move to San Francisco, New York, Atlanta, or New Orleans. You'll find a welcoming community there.

28. Don't be a poser. Avoid being one of those dudes who puts a surfboard on top of their car, but never surfs, or a dude with a powder coated fixed gear bike and a messenger bag, but was never a messenger. Live the life. Earn your bona fides.

29. Don't believe the crap about the patriarchy. More women are accepted and attend college. More degrees are awarded to women than men. Women outlive men. More men commit suicide. Men are twice as likely to be victims of violence, including murder. If you consider sexual assaults in prisons, twice as many men are raped as women (society thinks prison rape is funny). The streets are littered with homeless men, sprinkled with a few homeless women. Statically, women are happier than men. The myth that girls are being cheated by are educational system is belied by the fact that schools are bastions of femininity, mostly run by and taught by women. Girls outperform boys in school. It is the boys in school getting fucked over, and prescribed ritalin for being boys. Real wages for men arefalling, while real wages for women are rising. Just because someone says omething enough times, doesn't make it true. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

30. Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.

My mother loves telling this story and of course it always sounds funny to me, but the day I was born went something like this. August 1970 in Dallas was hot, my mother had planned ahead and put this very frilly night gown on layaway. Back in her day my aunt and mom were big into big hair. I mean huge hair with giant curlers in it. Fastened atop the mounds of hair was a wiglet, a little patch of fake flowing hair that only added to their demure as a woman in 70s. My mother had picked out a special wiglet and while she was talking to my Aunt on the phone trying to figure out if she was in labor or not, they decided she was. Off to the hospital she went with a suitcase in tow. Only my mother would have stopped by the beauty shop on the way to Baylor to pick up her prized wiglet.

In her 21 years of wisdom she had visions of herself as a glowing new mom dressed in a beautiful nighty with hair flowing down and holding her baby while receiving guests. The reality was quite different.

In my mind I can see her in labor in what I can only imagine as excrutiating pain. Probably about two hours into labor, she has had it. She was sweaty and no longer looked the demure 21 year old. The wiglet had fallen down and was a stringy mess. The way my mom tells the story, at some point she has just had it, so she pulls the blond wiglet off the top of her head, which looks more like a blond disco birds nest and hurls it across the delivery room muttering something like "Get this damn thing outta my hair!" I am sure. I am sure the doctors and nurses were taken aback.

A few hours later she awoke and asked the nurse what she had. She looked at my mom's bracelet and told her she had a boy. The nurse wheeled her down to the nursery and they held me up. I apparently had my entire fist in my mouth, and my mother thought, there he is, my son.

And that, my friends, is how I was brought into this world. At 38 I can say that it has been a wild ride filled with so many people I love and amazing experiences. So on this day I want to tell them all how much I love them and how much they mean to me!! And they know who they are, least of which the woman who hurled the wiglet across the delivery room at Baylor hospital :-)


Incredibly fascinating... The Mason/Dixon Pop/Soda Line

Greg and I feel a bit isolated in our little gay bubble. We no longer watch Desperate House Wives we read the CR Mom's Blogs instead.

The top ten list of things you learn from reading their blogs:

10. These woman drop the F bomb left and right and WE LOVE IT

9. They talk about "Golden Showers" and the word "dildo" will return multiple hits

8. They eat bon-bons and watch Ricky Lake all day while they kids cry (just kidding!)

7. They became such a powerful local threat, the had to be "spun off" from the multi-million dollar developer.

6. They are total MILFs (if I were straight)

5. They can show you how to save money and get you on lists so telemarketers call you

4. The commonly get drunk at each others houses

3. You pray that their mother's-in-law don't read their blogs

2. They are not helicopter moms but rather helicopter "pilots"

1. Gratuitous references to poop, poop and more poop

and we would love to share a drink with all of them..keep it up girls!

An honest review

- As an Apple fan for 23 years, the OS is awesome
-still awkward typing on this after having crackberry hands for years
- they have mostly done a great job of true mobile surfing.
- you can seperate work and play at work
- the touch screen and the way it functions are quite nice
-makes it too easy to get to work email
- I am sitting on a balcony and able to browse and listen to my iTunes
collection
-hands down one of the best products to effectively switch back and
forth between functions..most mobile OS's suck here.
-Voicemail is quite nice, in fact it will become the new standard I bet
- it is somewhat scary that you walk around and pretty much have
access to information about the entire human experience..think in
terms trillion of terabytes
-still weird to type on

About this blog

We are a committed gay couple of almost 10 years who are trying to start a family of our own. This is our story.

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