Two Dads are Better than None

this cracks me up..

Mom: Craig, what does "idk" mean?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: Dang, nobody knows.
craig goble, my mom just started texting

My grandma asked my girlfriend if she got a discount on her new DVD because it didn't show the entire picture. We were watching the widescreen version.
Mike P

My prof sent this as a part of his instructions for submitting an assignment:"Don't email in your assignment, as the professor does not know how to open attachments."
really, prof really??

My dad asks me to help him "do a Google" whenever he wants to find something on the internet.
Nathaniel Johnson, University of South Florida

My grandpa has very limited computer knowledge, but we finally showed him how to go online and play poker. At our last family dinner, I asked him how his online poker was going, and he said, "Pretty good, but I want to start playing the paid tables." Then he asked if I would be his "paypal." I also once caught him staring at the screen between every key he pushed. I asked what he was doing and he told me that he was waiting for the cursor to flash again so he could type the next letter.
Rick Astley

My dad wanted to show my sister something at the bottom of a website so he told her to "stroll down."
Derek Chiu

I got a call from my mom once and I could hear her talking and punching keys on her phone without realizing she had called anyone. I found out later she thought she was sending me a text message.
Beth T, TAMUCC

My professor always uses air quotes whenever he says the word youtube. Always.
Sandra Amstutz

I use my cell phone as my alarm clock. If you have Verizon, you should be familiar with the whistling ringtone option which I use as my alarm tone. Anyway, my grandmother was visiting and after my alarm went off I went down stairs, and my grandmother said, "It must be nice to wake up each morning in such a good mood." I had no idea what she meant until she said, "I hear you whistling that same song every morning."
audrey W, Virginia Commonwealth

My dad called me to tell me he had given me a "wall hanging." He meant he had posted on my Facebook wall.
Cristin Vanderhoof

I totaaaalllllly agree with this person...

From Itunes, for reals

Description: Annoy a Teen generates irritatingly high frequency tones that most adults have lost their ability to hear; thereby targeting teenagers and other dumb animals.

Dig it....biyatchez (grill grin)

:-P)

"I'm Still Remembering"

I'm still remembering the day I gave my life away.
I'm still remembering the time you said you'd be mine.
Yesterday was cold and bare, because you were not there.
Yesterday was cold, my story has been told.

I need your affection all the wa-ay.
The world has changed or I've changed in a wa-ay.
I try to remain, I'm trying not to go insa-ane.
I need your affection all the way, the way.
Get away [X6]

I'm still remembering my life before I became your wife.
I'm still remembering the pain and the mind games.
Reverse psychology never tainted me.
I didn't sell my soul.
I didn't sell my soul.

I need your affection all the wa-ay.
The world has changed or I've changed in a wa-ay.
I try to remain, I'm trying not to go insa-ane.
I need your affection all the way, the way.

They say the cream will always rise to the top.
They say that good people are always first to drop.
What of Kurt Cobain, will his presence still remain?
Remember JFK, ever saintly in a way.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now, I said,
Where are you no-ow?

I need your affection all the way. [X4]
All the way. [X10]

end.

And for what it is worth, my PC just started spitting out Thai charachters, no BS

I saw a challenge somewhere to try and surmise 2009 in three words and thought I would try...of course I have to explain each word..

Turmoil
The credit market shit the bed, homes got foreclosed on in record numbers, the stock market lost almost half its value and suddenly Americans are finding that we are not all that and a bag-o-chips anymore. Turmoil means that things change everyday, and somehow, we are used to it. Maybe tumultuous is a better word. It is a funny word that rolls around in the mouth. Say it a few times. Tumultuous.

Change
This word was a nice truism to hear I thought. Obama reminded us of it and we saw it in our daily lives throughout the world. I have always wondered why people fear change and differences the way they do. You either work for change or fight against it, and it has always seemed that the losing side of history fought change..look at the South. Shit changes, shit happens, assimilate and move on. Period. I could go about my civil liberties and lack thereof, but I won't.

Acceptance
When I think of acceptance from Americans, I think of the realization many older generations must feel when they look at our crazy electronic world. I stop to think about how wired my world is, and it is somewhat amazing. If only we latched on to ideas the way we latch onto gadgets. The psychology behind how much date we process is mind boggling too. Maybe once in a while we should try to step back from the ones and zeros (and this from a guy who routinely takes an iphone to the lake).

With open hearts and minds, let's jump into 2009! Hey, I will try harder too!

This is a funny but true exchange I received...I may sound like an ass...but I know how to use an apostrophe, so to be singled out by a random stranger was...well, insulting..

Start at the bottom and read up..


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On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 2:02 PM, Brent wrote:

Yep that is not me. He might be brentrjones@gmail.com but I have no idea how you got my email.

And for what it is worth, is it really your place to email people you don't know (especially the wrong one) telling them that their webpage is ungrammatical? I am sure you were trying to help, but I am very busy and do not really have time for this.

Pardon my tone...

Have a great day!

On Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 5:02 PM, Margaret wrote:

Sorry! NO MORE BOTHERING!


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On Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 5:02 PM, Brent wrote:

Hmm..which page are you referencing? I would never put Brent Jones's webpage so now I am curious.


On Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 11:53 AM, Margaret wrote:

Hi Brent,


This is the where I retrieved the information and the g-mail address.


Margaret



http://www.classroom20.com/profile/BrentJones (disclaimer..that is NOT Brent's site...note the brilliant and correct use of that apostrophe!)
******************************************************************************

On Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 4:57 PM, Margaret wrote:

Hi Brent.
While searching for another Brent Jones in Chicago, I came across your Website.


Please note that there is no - 's - on Jones.... I'm sure that you know... just a slight miscue..

Margaret


Brent Jones's Page

I know I am getting old, I have proof now..I had trouble hearing above a 15. Take this test and see for yourself..kinda interesting. Just click on the link.

Add me on youtube, leave a comment, subscribe :-)

:-) too f'n cute eh

It has been a historical week in America. We have elected our first half black half white (read African-American I guess) president. It seems that both black and white America can embrace a guy that, well, is equal parts white and black. It will certainly mean a lot for race relations.

Obama was wise to pronounce himself the American mutt when he referenced selecting the nation's new First Pet. Those evolutionists know that as far as genetics and evolution is concerned, mutts are healthier and live longer. Simply evolution tells you that nature takes the best (and sometimes the worst) of a race's gene and throws it into the melting pot. I consider myself a mutt and think that blending the races makes for a better, more interesting world.

It is interesting to think, however, that this new blood will dominate as the nation's image. People all over the globe may see America in a whole new light. Maybe Americans are thinking that desperate times call for desperate measures? Financially the economy is taking a rest. She is tired of pumping out all that capital to feed so many countries. We are unsure of the future and we are also wise enough to say that we needed change. Especially after this election, the idea of the American family has changed for the better. We are a nation of mixed people that have all come together to create stories of our own future.

In fact, the most American of all stories told is the one that starts off about family coming to America somehow, in search of opportunity. You are seeing the results of how the very definition of the American "family" is changing.

He had an Asian childhood, African parentage, a Middle Eastern name and an American upbringing. He is a truly global president.

My sister is a way better blogger than I, so in an effort not to be lame, here are 7 random things about me:

1. I started my blog back way before it was *cool*. I tend to me 3-4 years ahead on the technology curve. Now there is so much info about people out there, it is mind boggling and somewhat overdone.

2. As a 6 year old, I was going to be a carpenter by day and a preacher by night. I am not sure where this redneck vision of happiness came from, but it is true.

3. I get annoyed with people who just talk about themselves in conversation and do not ask others questions. The don't understand the ping-pong concept...it has to go back and forth for the game to be fun.

4. I was raised Christian but do not really consider myself a Christian because I refuse to believe there there is only one God and the Christians are right. I fault this belief on education and travel. It is amazing what you learn when you open your eyes.

5. I wanted to be an architect when I was younger. I am still fascinated by designs, buildings and cool houses and living spaces.

6. I am not a huge believer in luck and I think people make their own luck in life. People who play the victim annoy me.

7. If money were no object, I would write short stories and paint all day. I have a weird attraction towards becoming a tormented artistic soul.